Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Egg Shells

My whole life I walked on egg shells, and lived with a time bomb in the house never knowing when it was going to blow up. We couldn't get away from it by sleeping over at friends or relatives houses, because we weren't allowed to sleep over ANYWHERE. For that matter I didn't have friends other than my school mates, but that's as far as that went. Sober or drunk I stayed out of my dads way, and I never brought any undo attention to myself because that's what my dad would hone in on. If was your day to get it, well god only help you then, because my mom wouldn't. Anything would set my dad off. Not cleaning our room right, not wearing shoes, arguing with our siblings, saying I hate you, stupid, dumb, you guys, or any curse words. Not getting up from bed when told to the first time, sleeping at meetings, and being any other place other than our home. Those were things that I knew for sure would get me a beating, it's not including any other thing that my dad felt warranted a beating. Those kind of things had me walking on egg shells

Never knowing when the time bomb was going to go off. Was when my dad finally honed in on one of us kids. His beating were merciless, and all us kids could do was scream and cry begging my dad to stop. Having my brother be sober and getting in a fist fight with my dad, Oh my god that was the scariest, because I thought forsure someone would get killed. The only times I wasn't as scared is when my brother would be in jail. This is so sad, but I would feel relief when that happened.

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